


Everything I Never Dreamed To Have

by PrefectMoony



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: F/M, Post CDTH, Someone please explain to me how to tag Jordan and Hennessy as two separate entities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-02-01 06:15:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21413395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrefectMoony/pseuds/PrefectMoony
Summary: Her lips get dry in the cold weather.It’s another one of the small details about Jordan that Declan has begun cataloguing in the safety of his own mind. Small attributes about her that are thoroughly and beautifully human, not a whimsical dream trait like her identical twin or how her dark eyes have an impossible brightness to them or that feeling of dazed endearment he knows she can make anyone feel with only the curve of the mouth.Her lips get dry in the cold weather, and she likes tea in the morning, and sometimes she says dorky little jokes that make her huff out an outrageously attractive laugh, and Declan is terrified because every time he adds something to his list his heart twists up something fierce and he feels like for the first time he’s soaring straight to the stars.
Relationships: Jordan Hennessy/Declan Lynch, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 15
Kudos: 70





	Everything I Never Dreamed To Have

Her lips get dry in the cold weather.

It’s another one of the small details about Jordan that Declan has begun cataloguing in the safety of his own mind. Small attributes about her that are thoroughly and beautifully human, not a whimsical dream trait like her identical twin or how her dark eyes have an impossible brightness to them or that feeling of dazed endearment he knows she can make anyone feel with only the curve of the mouth.

Her lips get dry in the cold weather, and she likes tea in the morning, and sometimes she says dorky little jokes that make her huff out an outrageously attractive laugh, and Declan is terrified because every time he adds something to his list his heart twists up something fierce and he feels like for the first time he’s soaring straight to the stars.

.-

The next morning, four days since Ronan and Hennessy embarked on their great escape, Declan passes over a pack of chapsticks to Jordan from across the kitchen island in the barns.

“Thank you,” she beams. “Coco butter is my favorite.”

“I know.” Declan intones.

Jordan’s smile goes diffident, and Declan is crippled by the sudden and acute need to kiss her. But then Opal breaks something in the distance, Adam Parrish steps through the threshold, and it passes.

“I’m gonna try for Hennessy and Ronan again,” Jordan announces, this edge of frantic.

“Good luck,” Declan frowns, a bit glum.

“You know,” Adam says, thin lips pressed together, assessing like the creepily smart fuck that he is. “I hear that if you just tell someone you like them that there’s a real big chance that they can put you out your misery and tell you the same.”

Declan scoffs at him, totally derisive.

“Your romantic endeavors are limited to which ever trail park girl who wanted a ticket out in the form of a pretty boy, smart ass, and my brother who’s only ever stared at you like the holy fucking bible. Pardon me if I don’t take your advice seriously.”

Adam shrugs, dent between his brows. 

“You’re unpleasant in the mornings.”

“Tell me about it.”

Adam strolls out to join Matthew on the deck and Declan is still totally frustrated.

.-

Declan is sure in only three things in his life. 

First, Niall was a scoundrel and a prick on his best days. Second, even if she hadn’t given birth to him, Aurora had loved him with all she had— golden and radiant and true. The third thing he knows in his bones is that he loves his younger brothers so god damn much that it’s a heart attack waiting to happen.

The third reason is why he can’t stop thinking of the trouble that Ronan is almost certainly embroiled within at this precise moment, and why his only respite from the gut wrenching fear of that is the sight of Matthew— a dream through every layer— staring starry eyed at Jordan while she teaches him how to sketch Chainsaw only using dots and lines. 

Declan can see how wondrously Matthew stares at her— the answer to his every question of this existing in this life of being alive but not quite living, and he sees how gingerly and thoughtfully Jordan handles this pedestal thrust upon her by the youngest Lynch. And God here comes that need again, that hunger to kiss her and love her and to not be fucking afraid.

The moment’s broken by a sudden, bloodcurdling scream coming from down the hall.

“I’ll check on him.” Matthew says, racing off to go and see if Adam’s only a bit haggard or if he needs more help like the first night.

“I’m worried about the kid,” Jordan tells Declan as soon as he assumes the seat besides her, squeezing the hand she’s laced into his own.

“He won’t let me ask Ronan about it, says he’s got Gansey— their other friend— looking into it.” Declan tells her.

Jordan’s frown deepens, gaze averted.

“He’s scared, huh?”

“I suppose.” Declan agrees.

“Declan, promise me that even if you’re scared you won’t ever keep that sort of secret from me, okay?”

There’s a million and one questions bubbling to the forefront of Declan’s mind. Like how splendid it feels that she’s equated them to a couple— especially one as nauseatingly in love as Parrish and his brother. Another is how lovely she smells, like vanilla and sugarplums and sweet things that he’s never indulged in. But foremost is the acute knowledge that Declan could never make that promise, not in good faith at the very least. Declan’s always sacrificed and hurt and suffered for those he loves, and yes, he thinks that this girl— composed of vivid colors and dream worthy imagination and a heart so big that it makes him catch his breath some days— Can be someone he loves, if not there yet.

So no Declan can’t make that promise, but what he can do is lean forwards and cup his hand around her soft jawline and kiss her as gently as possible. What he can do is fall into her when Jordan opens her mouth and wraps her arms around him and cants forwards. What he can do is pretend that it doesn’t matter that he doesn’t have the strength to love another dream thing but will try his damndest despite it all.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so CDTH is probably one of my all time favorite books ever written, and Declan and Jordan are my pure baby children that I love and will fucking make get married and will write thousands and thousands of words about, or so help me!!! But also obviously I had to include Adam since we're married and his and Declan's dynamic is fantastic to me!!
> 
> I'm not sure if anyone will read this but if you do pleaseee it would mean the galaxy to me if you let me know what you thought!!!
> 
> Come yell at me on [Tumblr](http://LiterallyLen.tumblr.com)


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